1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
