Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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