So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
did you just send me my own nude
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
