he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
