do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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