i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize
