that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Randomize
