I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
