you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Randomize
