I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
