you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
