If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Randomize