they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
the condom got lost in my hair
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
