problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
