I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I think your dad took our porno
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
