did you get engaged???
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
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