I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
