I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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