garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Randomize
