Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Those nachos came to me in a dream
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
