bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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