There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
