Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
