why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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