We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
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