I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
