i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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