real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
