i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
