You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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