Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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