i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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