I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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