He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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