hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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