you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
