I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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