I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize