I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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