Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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