The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Randomize
