She's JV to your varsity
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Randomize
