OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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