Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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