You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
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