try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I wish you could order shots online.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
