I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Randomize
