your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Randomize
