This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
