Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Randomize
