that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
