She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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