I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
handjob tips. give me some.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize
