so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
