Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
