At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Randomize